离别，也许是最心酸，最难受的感觉

但人生就是充满离别。

感恩现在所拥有的。

:)

Stressed out recently

had people stepping on my nerves, pushing my patience to the limit

i'm sorry if i was harsh, and the non stop complaints 

but thanks for understanding

and the cute pictures to cheer me up

wouldnt wish for anything else :)

all i need is u..

love you <3 

坚持！

以前总觉得，自己是很坚强的
天塌下来，我也能顶着
现在开始在想，是不是太高估自己了
发现，人都蛮像称又青，偶尔需要聊一聊
当然她的对象是李大仁，我们就有自己的“好朋友”
突然很想骂自己
眼泪怎么说要流就流，没理由的流


其实，想要的真的不多
因为觉得自己很幸福了
只是这几个礼拜，过得蛮辛苦的
尤其是晚上
也不知怎么搞的，每天都1点2点才睡觉
搞到下礼拜开课，到现在都还没有调回去
可是人就是深夜的时候，特别感性
也只能怪自己，爱想东想西吧！
老实说，自己不是个很有耐心的人
（哈哈这个不懂讲几次了）
可是遇到你，觉得我的耐心，已经突破极点了
也不是想把自己讲到多么伟大
只是有时觉得好辛苦
很多时候，想多聊几句
但知道你需要休息
很多时候，想留在你身边多一下
但知道你也累了
不是说妥协到很委屈，而是有时觉得为啥一定要酱
在想，如果我是那种霸道的38婆
时时刻刻都要看到你，我觉得你肯定疯掉
我也不想做那种人
我不是一个不讲道理的人，我了解，我明白
（哈！又在想，如果自己不是那么懂事的话会不会好过点？）


我真的要的不多
每晚有你的晚安，一段时间见次面
（就算不出去也行，就只想看见你，感受到你的体温）
总之，感受到你在我身边就好
不是自己没要求，只是觉得何必为难你
搞到自己辛苦，你也辛苦，会心疼啊
有时会觉得，是不是自己不够努力？
他不能来我可以过去啊！
（可是偏偏就很多事情，不知算不算借口）
哈哈，有时还真的觉得自己做的不够好
还觉得自己对你的了解和你对我的了解，差很远
哎呀不知道啦！
i miss you
really do, every single day
it's been hard, but hey
for you, i'll do whatever it takes
even if its just to wait
because, you're worth it.


♥ u baby
#X 

IMY...

Holidays are almost up!

Uni starts on the 24th

pretty excited and scared at the same time

not sure why am i feeling scared, but i think i'll be just fine

been rotting at home for far too long, its time to stretch those muscles and do something, anything

the heat and haze is killing me

i even ran out of singlets to wear :O

its so sibeh hot every single day! I even feel like a roasted pig

please just rain~ gimme a mega storm!

ok maybe not a mega one but at least just rain so that its not so dry and maybe clear the haze for abit

Planning on going back segamat at the end of the month

for eh 清明 uh

its been awhile since we've went back..since CNY 

hope tat we'll have time for a sing k session with le babes

haven seen them since CNY too! and i wanna cheong k yo! 

well we'll see, and i swear i'm gonna drag ah fook out 

no matter wat! and watever it takes :p

I like lying on bear's legs because it reminds me of u..a lot =)

feels like times when i'm lying on ur lap

the only difference is not hearing your voice and heartbeat

i miss you

i just want to be in your arms..tats all

P.S. wats dai sek :OO

♥ u bii

#X

Lalalala~

突然，又开 ”我可能不会爱你” 来看
又想起，李大仁和称又青不完美的完美爱情
然后就在想我们这一路来，还真的不容易

很多事情，现在好像都没事了
一切都过了，风平浪静
觉得已经习惯你身上的味道，感觉到上瘾了
每晚，11点的晚安
虽然想多聊几句，但知道你需要休息，就忍着
感觉上，新年过后能在一起的时间少了好多
而且每一次都那么短暂
感觉上，不管多久都会觉得短吧哈哈
每次都想赖在车上久一点，多一下下也好
第一个情人节，过得很简单，但至少有一起过
其实我要的不多，就只想要你在我身边就好
其他的，比较不贪，因为不想你辛苦

想让你知道，我每天都想你
很大的可能是因为我整天在家没事做，就想咯～
记得你说过：幸好有你在
心里当然会觉得好温馨
可我一直没告诉你，我觉得：有你，我才是幸运的那个
我曾经那么深的伤过你，现在还依然爱我，依然呵护我
"I love you" 是需要一些些的勇气，才能说出口
更需要的是真心
truly mean it
也想说，排写呵呵，我的这句来得有点慢
你也知道，我很多东西，很多的情绪，都不知怎么说出口
但这一个，我肯定要说出口，让你知道
我这只猪，爱你了

以前常说，要找个超级第一帅的男朋友
又高，又帅，又有智慧的男子（有钱的话更好 xD）
哈哈，你咧！虽然不是啥梦中情人，但是是我想要的
别人说啥我都不管，因为我只知道
你，对我最好了
有时好到我有些感动
也偶尔会想，我真的值得吗？我真的配得上吗？
哈哈，虽然很愚蠢的想法，但有时不得会这么想
（都说啦，在家太无聊了哈哈）
一个礼拜里面，你会尽量来找我一次
不管是从你那，还是工作地方
过来我这，都得塞车，很吃时间，又远
几次还是你特地早上从你那来载我去你那
来回4次，1次都需要差不多30-45分钟
驾车好累，辛苦你了
谢谢你，为了我那么累。

那天不小心翻到那晚的msg
看了眼睛还是会湿湿的
记得你说：
因为每个拥抱，每个吻，都让我更舍不得，更难受
那晚，哭到最糟了，如果有人在我旁边我一定没脸见他
记得你说，第二天你也为这件事，为我流了泪
还怪我，你啦啥都可以怪我就是了
你之前会说，你觉得自己自私，还不会照顾我的感受
怎么有时，我反而觉得自己才是呢
可能我把心思放错地方了？不懂哦
你啊你，很多次在我比较没安全感时
都弄到我感动流泪
就有时嘛，问你些东西
你的答案都会让我觉得很安心，很温馨
觉得我的确就是你的，你也是我的
所以我死都不要失去你了，不然我会比那晚更崩溃

有你，我真的很幸运
多希望我 darling 乌龟也能找到一个对你真心诚意的人
不可能要我一直脚踏两船啊！
等下他吃醋咧怎么办！
知道你这次付出的感情比较深，男的又是个超级王八蛋
所以难免需要多点时间
要勇敢面对自己的心情和感情，慢慢走出来
其实这些话都说了好多次
就别说了，听了也烦啊哈哈
那我就说，不管怎样，天塌下来还是有我扛
忘了吗？人家都说我是你们的大姐大
虽然我很久没练习了啦，可是应该还能 pakai 吧！
最多，你没嫁出去的话
我跟我未来的老公（如果有的话）商量下，让你搬进来
啊不然就是叫阿福娶你！
啊如果他也返回，我也没嫁人，就三个一起住老人院吧！
我陪你，你陪我，我们陪他，他陪我们！
讲讲以前的丑事，故事
其实我还真的蛮想去唱歌地说
可是你啊你，几百年没回家！好好陪家人吧！
他们是有多想你你不知道吗！
好啦睡觉了，迟了～


I love u baby ♥
#X

CNY ’special‘?

Soooo! 

CNY eh, you can say its bitter sweet~

the sweet part is... 

it was quite okay, compared to last years i guess haha

best thing ever was getting my 孔明灯!!

hehe! i've been wanting to play with tis for a year! 

thanks so much bii, i know you purposely got them for me <3

u're the best :)

i'm also glad to see some familiar faces this year! 

some that i've never seen since graduating! 

As for the bitter, you can say i've learnt some things i should have known better

hmm, like people change! even the ones you less expected to, the ones you thought would always stay the way they are

and i start to understand that, we are all moving on

we are not in high school anymore, we are now living our lives in separate places with different people

now, we are just a living past tense of their lives

yes, we still have contact, but things change, circumstances change, attitudes change

i guess i'm still holding onto the past too tightly, and its time for me to move on too

not to say that we 'break up' and lose contact

but to understand that, people have new priorities in life

it might be you once, but it isn't anymore now

its time to respect and understand things has changed, and it is time to just keep what ever it is close to my heart and start focusing on what is going on around me

not clinging to the past, but accepting and embracing the present

To my beloved lil turtle:

Life is full of shit

tons of 'em 

but everytime you go through it, you turn out even stronger

even though you might be wounded 

they leave scars, but hey they are there for a reason

as a reminder of what you've successfully been through

I know at first it would be so damn painful

and you will be thinking, why the hell did this happen to me?

i believe that things happen for a reason

and i believe we cross paths with people for a reason too

some are meant to stay, and some are just meant to touch and go

some are here to teach you a lesson, and some are here for you to teach them a lesson

this might be a difficult time, but it'll get by eventually

look on the bright side! 

now you've seen his true colours, and thank god its still early

people like him, doesn't even deserve you one bit

the one who truly cares about you, should put you before himself and not being a selfish, immature jerk

the one who truly loves you, couldn't even bare the thought of you getting hurt, let alone doing it himself

the one who truly deserves you, is someone who would protect you (physically and most importantly emotionally), even if it means getting hurt himself 

i guess, life is about meeting the wrong people until you finally meet the right one

so when you finally meet him, you'll learn how to love and treasure him

i know for sure, that you'll get by this, coming out wounded but stronger

you've grown so much seen we've met and i'm so proud of you

keep fighting! you know we'll always be there for you, to catch you when you fall or give a boost when you need one

we love you :) 

♥ u guys
♥ u bii
#X

I love you

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
And the more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I
I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again


This is a.. really old song
but it sums up wat i'm feeling right now
i grew up knowing that things don't come to you on a silver platter
u have to fight for it
i learnt a lot about this when it comes to friendship

I value my relationship with people a lot
especially those who had touched my heart and some what changed me
i guess, they did not really changed me, but they shaped me
the people that i encounter, made me who i am now
and i hate to admit but it all happened through drama
which started when i was only 12 (11 to be exact)
throughout the years, i learnt so many things
people come and go
but there are also people who choose to stay, who makes an effort to stay
and these people, are the ones i cherish and love the most

I'm a wounded person, not knowing whether the scars will ever recover
i faced so many "battles" and came out hurt and full of scars
to me, it was always worth it
these people in the picture right at the top of my blog
they are family to me, my 2nd family
inseparable
due to one reason, and one reason only:  They are worth fighting for.
fights after fights
drama and more drama after even more drama
but among the fights and drama
the bond and love between ourselves just grew stronger i guess
(well if you could handle the "love")
they stood by me when i was in the worst shape ever
they supported me, pull me/push me up when i was way down
they took me in as a sister

Sec school was where i had friends for life
and i know that i would never be alone ever again
(□ friend for life. check!)
then i came to the point where i would like to find love, for real
you were always there, in my life, in and out
i always felt a connection between you and me
i guess you're right, we're both just suay i guess
whether its the right person at the wrong time
or the wrong person at the right time
or even the wrong person at the wrong time
i think the answer lies in the future

At first, all i thought of is that:
"I've been waiting for so long, i wont let you slip away again"
but den reality struck, there was much more to that
who knew that a simple relationship can cause so much chaos
den all the doubt began to crawl in
thoughts of whether this is just a mistake, that it was not meant to be
thoughts of if things ended, would it be for the better good?
well that didn't go well
it was too hard to take the easy way out
the pain of losing you is just, unbearable
i wasn't going down without a fight, because i fight, fight for what i want
i fight for you, because i'm in love with you, and all i want is you
i started thinking, am i just lucky or unlucky
even if i'm slightly mad at you i just can't be mad
you put me before you, that's something i've been..you can say craving for
all those years, i put my friends before me
i fight, i think of ways of how to pull them back, how to bring my sister back
then you came.. or rather came back :)..
also!
i admit that you know and understand me more than i know you
its creepy but at the same time..touching
maybe i'm just weird, like you always say
but it's always so sweet and nice when you say
"Of course I know! You're my piggie"

 Bii, i had lots of doubts about us
but right now, i see things slightly more clearly
and even if we don't work out
i don't know whether i could accept someone else's love
because i don't know whether he would love me the way you did
and i don't know whether i would ever let you go
you are already a part of me, in my heart and mind
it seems a bit stupid to say all these stuff when you're only 18
but this is how i truly feel..
i never thought that i will have such a big impact on someone's life
i always thought of myself as a liability or a pain in the ass
cause that is kinda who i am
and i promise you that i will not ever doubt you again
and that i wont stop fighting not until you give up
or its pushing you to the edge
cause i can't be too selfish and let you take on everything
if its too much, too unbearable
then, only then i'll back out, i wouldn't let you drown

I'll always be your piggie
and you'll always be in my heart
no matter what the future holds :)
(but of course i still hope there'll always be "us" ;D)

I love you bii ♥
#X

2014

1.25am 5/1/14

Hmm, its late and i'm sick -.- lol
not very though, but still.. sick
but i just can't sleep
guess i have too much on my mind

Happy 2014!
spent my last few days of 2013 with these peeps

My besties and friends i met in Taiwan last year.
it was something like a reunion trip
which we agreed that we will make it possible every year
even though not everyone made it
but hey, it was memorable
as memorable as Taiwan

This trip wasn't as easy as it looked
although Penang is not as far as Taiwan
much planning had to be made because
mainly we come from different places
north and south
good thing i was "allowed" to drive from KL
and so almost everyone gathered here and we were off for an adventure
i was pretty nervous
being a newbie driver
the highways were not a problem
the bigger problem was on the island itself
freaking narrow 2 way streets
constantly honking motorbikes
scared the hell out of me -.-
and i was driving a MPV
but it was a really nice experience

1. Driving with one hand and another holding a GPS, and still missing turns going the wrong way
2. Scolding the motorbikes that kept honking and squeezing through me
3. Scolding the other car for following too far away and too close
4. Screaming at myself, because i had a hard time side parking the car, and when i was almost done, the car     behind went off, TWICE
5. Dancing and being a fool while crossing through the ropes of Escape Park
6. Cycling through the streets of Georgetown in red like we owned the streets whilst finding street arts
7. Going on a trip without baba bear :(

They say those who accompany you through the year 13 to 14
are the people who will be with you 1314 (forever)
i wasn't with my family, or my 2nd family, or my bii
but i was surrounded by people who i still love, friends.
another bunch of frends who i do not have to be "decent"
i scream and shout at them TMD!
i say stupid, annoying things and made them laugh
i kicked someone in the ass, almost tripping over the stairs
another bunch of people who i do not have to fake myself
i could be who i really am, comfortably be who i really am
its hard and frankly quite, odd
because we only knew each other last year, well spent 2 weeks together
but not seeing each other for a year
yet the instant we laid eyes on each other, its like we never separated
everything came back, the warmth and watever it was in Taiwan



The 5th day of a new year
doesn't really feel like a new year
maybe because we don't have to write down the date everyday in sch anymore
i have no idea wat's coming this year
i don't even noe wat course am i taking for degree yet lol
2 month break and i'm wasting it
oh wells let me just waste it until i noe wat to do

♥ u bii
#X