我想说，真的很想说。可是我不能。。因为时间，考试的关系，我真的不能。我怕会影响你我的考试心情，也可能影响你生日心情。

这两年来的感情，我很珍惜，也很感恩。可是有些是在我心里已经很久了，我又不敢说出来。
也许你会失望，也有很多的为什么，可是请你相信我，我所做的一切，都是想保护你。

因为你没经历过那种伤害，而我却承受这种伤，我知道那种痛。一个才十二岁的我，一个想和其他同学一样，拥有自己的朋友，能够在小学最后一年里开开心心的过属于我们的一年。可是上天注定我要在这时候，在人生的道路上，踏出一大步。我被朋友出卖，和朋友闹到很僵。十二岁的我，哭了不知多少的泪。我的心已经有了永远不会消得疤痕，我也不希望你我和一样，带着这些疤痕过一生。

被伤害过的人，会想尽办法，不让身边的朋友受到一样的痛。

我本身是个缺乏安全感的人，我非常想找个肩膀靠。你说我给你安全感，可是一个没安全感的人要如何给予别人他最缺乏的东西呢？每天在学校嘻嘻哈哈，是我隐瞒自己的最佳方法。这几年来的我，根本不是我，也不知道谁才是真真的我。每天嘻嘻哈哈的？躲在房间自己流泪的？我自己也不知道。

我的人很奇怪，有时候会想转个圈，要你问我。问我我到底是不是有事情。
我很老实的说，我有点失望，因为你相信我的“没事”。
几乎每次，我说没事，你就相信了。我知道，你不喜欢那种要说，又喜欢搞动作来让你去问的人。就因为这点我就没去想这么多。
也许我接下来的这句话，会让你很伤心，可是，这是打从我心底说出来的。

你不了解我。

我承认我很自私，也很笨。为什么我现在才发现到我们之间的问题。你太依赖我了，什么都跟我，什么都听我的。
就算你能靠这我到Form5，可是毕业后，我们都需要各走各的。我和你的兴趣不一样，到最后还是得靠自己。

我承认，你只是一个我心情不好的观众。我承认我很自私。
有时候，你所给我的回复，真的不是我想要的。可是到最后，我都无所谓，因为我不希望因为我得不到我想要的东西而毁了这段感情。
因为我们的兴趣不一样，有时候，我会好像变成“外人”。可是我都无所谓，所以我就自己找点事来做，或在一旁听。这点我并不怪你，因为我知道，我应该妥协。
可能你觉得我好想说自己很伟大，可是我相信你抓得到我的意思。

我很努力，很努力地想抓着这份缘分。我也知道你在努力。可是我怕我顶不住，我怕一切会在一瞬间就倒塌，一切就这样消失。
可能因为我经历过这些事，我思想比较成熟，比较不一样。可是我不是个用铁做的人，我会有不行的一天。我不能永远一直这样顶下去。

我承认和于芹说话，我很开心。因为他抓到我的心了，她能够就这样看出我有事。
其中一个锁匙已经被他拿去了，他已经把门打开了，走进去了。
可是你还没。我不是要求你变得像她一样。
我只觉得，我们可能会有分手的一天。我们的感情，就像是一对情侣酱。
因为我并不了解你。我很老实的说，我真的不了解你。
你的那把钥匙，还没别找出来。我并没进入你的心，只凭着长久以来的观察，经验，来猜测你是否不开心。

对不起，我让你失望了。
现在我所拥有的问题，你就不要去想，不要去想怎么帮我，就让我先扛着，直到时机成熟了，我会告诉你。我不会让你承受我现在的问题，我答应你，把事情处理的比较轻，比较没那么压力先，才告诉你。
就像我桌子上写的，我不想因为我一个决定，而让你我受到伤害。

这些话我一直不告诉你，是因为我不想伤到你，不想你我都不开心。请你原谅我。
如果你哭了，就不要再想那么多，冲个凉，晚上好好的睡个觉。然后专心的准备考试。好吗?

对不起。

Goin' back to sch 2molo. And with none of my homework finished and no revising for PMRs. Need to cut of my long long nails T_T! So wish me luck ~





Don't wanna sleep with a wet pillow again.

Its another crappy day, with a bad haircut. Seriously dunno wats goin' on with me today. Knew somethin tat really pissed me off. I dunno why I cant stand it. There are people, who are really important to me right now, people tat have a place in my heart. And I AM gona act selfish if someone really...wants to snatch them away. I'm confused, really am confused right now. Monday is comin, and PMRs is comin too. Now i'm seriously out of my mind, i'm thinkin the things i'm not suppose to, i'm doin' the things i'm not suppose to and I just can't bring myself together!

Really feel like goin' to the beach or maybe go on a mountain and just scream! And just sit by the beach feeling the cold sand and maybe someone to just give me a hug and tell me, "everythin' is gona be okay."







U already have him, so just stay back.

I admit, I'm selfish. I dun care tat ur his ex. But he's mine!




Can't afford to lose him....

Okay, so i'm starting to fall in lurve with tis singer from youtube xD. Name? SAM TSUI!! HAHAHAHA he's a geniuuuus xD. Dam I lurve his voice =]. U must listen to tis. Ofcuz its on my playlist but the screen in so tinnie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkHJ2-zoSB4


Check out ^ xD.

太多的为什么。。但就是没有答案。为什么我那么在意？为什么我会那么想知道？ 是不是因为我想太多了？

Studying in Singapore... I noe its nice..having vincent, min keat, ah teng korkor they all around, getting to noe more ppl maybe from diff countries too. But it might not be as good as I thought?

I might not tahan the stress there? Sg education is like way higher den M'sia, what if I can't stand it? What if I cant catch up? Maybe i'm just afraid of changes. Maybe i'm just afraid tat the things wouldn't go the way i wanted it too be. And maybe i'm just afraid i'll get disapointed or even disapoint others.

Sometimes, ppl may seem so tough but in the inside they're just so fragile. Even the strongest man in the world, will have a soft and fragile side. And sometimes, they just need a hug from someone, just to let them noe, u wont be alone, there is someone who cares abt u.



Maybe i think too much....

Okay imma back xD! So on thurs we were at the funeral all day. Next day after lunch we went to meet up with vincent and min keat (which i'm not gona forgive!). So 1st we went ice skating xD! Which was the most fun xD! Ah Teng kor kor went there too, and we dunno how fell and he gave me a souvenir <~~ Ice oso can make ma hand like tis O_O! Okay so i kinda can skate ady xD.








So after that we went to have dinner at um Pastamania and had 2 pizzas. And tat is when i only knew Ong Min Keat dunno ma b'day f5! Hmph! So after the pizzas we went to watch Vampires Suck LOL! It was...dumb and funny? Haha. So after that we went bowling which me and ming was new to. I had my 1st strike LOL! i took the ball and like roll it. And skali KIKABOOM! STIRKE LOL! Den ah kor kek dao ehehehehe. Huo gai! Who ask u forget my b'day~ Lalalalalala.



So we went back to Clementi for a drink. And reached my aunt's hse at 12 +? And den me and ming were at Ah Teng kor kor's room keng gai~ In the end i woke up with a flu =)! Now is betta. And i didn't go to taekwondo because of that =x. It was a nice trip =).




Who is the "she" your refering to.

Went to poto last sun. So we started off with wen, lynn, ling f3, wai po, my aunt, uncle. In the end its just me and ling walking around hiding from someone xD. Fun haha. So ming went to 2nd bridge, Coffee Corner earlier cuz its raining. So me and ling and xiao bai walked to Upwell and i tumpang-ed his car to Coffee Corner (thanks btw =]). Den had some drinks with 'Gao Li', wei fong and ming. And so we went back to the field BEFORE midnight and the field was empty -_-. Saw da ming de mei mei too. And there was no fireworks T_T! The only reason we went is the fireworks.. T_T! No fun. So we keng with da ming de mei mei untill my mama called me twice O_O. And went home...it was almost um 1am? xD. Had quite alot of fun =).




So nothing much tis few days. Its the hols, means bored~ So we're going to Singapore on thurs and coming back on sat. A relative of mine passed away >_