Spot the difference ;D

Damn, how long has it been since i last blogged?
the last few weeks was really a chaos.
so many assignments to be done in so little time
and remember how lazy and last min i am x)
i'm glad its over and its coming to the end of the sem
meaning?
i'm graduating foundation soon =O
my god, time is passing too fast
it really felt like yesterday where all of us
working our butts off for SPM
dang i miss u guys la =(


Anyways, spot the difference!

Weeee short hairr :p

yeah guess everyone has been wondering: WHY!

well, u might think its weird or silly

but assignments drove me crazy and i was kinda stressed out

den i was getting a little bored of my hair

so i thought since i wanna cut my hair why not try something new and fresh!

it is fresh indeed haha

so chopping my hair off was because i wanted to shed some weight off my shoulders

but of couse stress levels were still high, i just felt a little lighter

i just wanted something new, needed some change

and well, i do kinda look younger and smokin' hot in tat pic :p 

ss much haha

Let me see, what else happened?

damn my sstm (super short term memory)

i can't remember -.-

jialat le la, i'm getting worse =x

nehmind! i spam pics then :D

Yes bii i'm madly in love with mei mei haha

can't get enough of her and her little purple coconut trees! 

Wennie and my cutie haha
right after i got my hair cut haha!
damn didn't noe i looked so funny

Yup! Our newest addition to da family :D

little Ting Ting mei mei!

so damn cute and damn fair!

Ah yes! Ah Yang came to stay with us for a week haha
and he said he never seen KLCC before
so here we are !
*psst* i also haven been there at night before haha

Giant lollipops! 

Mm-mmm and jelly beansssss
lots and lots of jelly beans!
haha like a small kid in wonderland
really candylicious #yum

♥ u bii
miss u ;)
#X

Kiss The Rain

Tis was one of my fav Yiruma song
i think i made ling cried with this song..or issit another one of Yiruma's
i dun remember lol
it's been years since i made tat video for her
well, now i don't listen to it, i don't play it either
its a beautiful song indeed
but it juz reminds me of Yu Qing
I wasn't close to her
yet somehow she impacted me alot
her family played this song along with her pics
tats why i cant stand listening to it, so dont even think of playing it

I remember after we walked back to sch
i hugged both yen and qin
i was crying too but i knew they needed a hug more than i did
a hug can mean so many things
-i'm here for u
-i love you
-i miss you
-or juz simply hey! long time no see

Losing something u really cared about
is by far the most painful emotion i've ever experienced
i cant really remember when did i last cried til so long
i guess it was when qin 1st came back from China?
i'm not sure i cant remember lol
last year,
i was, almost, all the time at the other end of the phone
wer i listen to the person at the other end cry
it wasn't easy, but i knew wat i should do
the only thing i could do was to juz be there
to listen, to accompany, although it was through the phone
hearing ling cry was one of the most hardest thing ever
i knew it would happen, i knew wat would happen
but i knew i couldnt do anything
not that i couldn't, i shouldn't do anything
cuz it was her journey, not mine..

Sometimes i hate myself for knowing stuff
knowing wat could happen
knowing how would things end
ofcuz i'm not always true, but so far i was right
i know things, i do
pls dont think that i am a idiot arrogant insensitive person
and ofcuz, i'm not right all the time, and sometimes i don't notice
but most of the time, i'm not too slow to notice that something's wrong
and one more thing i hate is that
even if i know, i tend to juz, u noe maybe i'm wrong
u noe, he/she hasn't tell me tat in person, so it's probably not true
i don't know whether its a good thing or a bad thing
i juz don't wanna face the truth until it hits me in the face
i wish i'm someone so "innocent" don't know everything
it'll be easier, sometimes lol
but hey, u gotta appreciate who u are and wat u are..

I started crying even before u start telling me about wat's going on in ur mind
becuz i knew wat u were going to say
i juz didn't wan to face it, i didn't wan it to end
i didn't noe wat to do but cry
and i didn't wan u to hear me cry
the moment i picked up the phone i cried even harder when i heard ur voice
i stopped after sometime, i put down my phone
i still didn't noe tat that was ur decision
i still thought tat they was something else to do, tats why i stopped
den i went to the bathroom and the moment i looked at myself..
i couldn't really look at myself, i looked like shit
and when i came back and looked at my phone
i couldn't stop, and there was tis awful feeling, like i couldn't breathe
it was 230am, but i knew i had to talk to someone
i was breaking down inside out
I was still very emotionally unstable the next day
went to subang parade for lunch
i was walking, sitting somewer to wait for my dad and mom
and most of the time i had to tilt my head up
and i was trying very hard to keep myself together
it was not one of the times wer i could juz cry myself to sleep and i'll be alright the next day
it was too unpredictable, too sudden, and i wasn't ready

Wat i'm trying to say here
is not how bad tat experience was, or how pitiful i was
or anything like tat
i juz wanna point out tat,
i could already break down becuz i lost something i treasure alot
and its not really gone, its still there somewer
wat if i lose something forever?
how am i going to pull myself together if something like tis happens?
i'm fragile, i never admit tis
but deep down i noe it
i hold on to memories very tightly
its wat makes me, me
i like remembering stuff, and i choose to remember them
becuz when everything changes
memories are the ones that doesn't
even if we parted our own ways
i'll always remember wat we did together, wat we always talked about

Guess tats why i'm writing tis
everytime i heard something, see something tat reminds me of something i care abt
i emo, i blast my speakers and sometimes i write
i dunno who the hell will be reading tis
but i don't write for ppl to see
i write for myself
to remind me that, yes i emo tat day and why?
i never liked deleting post
wat ever i write, wat ever i post
i leave it there..as a reminder tat i went trough tis shit
and i made it out alive, i grew, i learned something
ofcuz ppl say tat, u have to delete all the negativity
i think tat's bullshit lol
everyone becomes negative once in awhile
the thing is how we face it and conquer it and become stronger
i write to let out wat ever is in my head
so that i can sleep
den i normally juz forget abt wat i wrote and move on
*ok not all the time*
but hey i'm human
and i'm a freaking lo so, mafan, like to emo & cry girl lol
so give me a break, and time den u'll see me bounce back again

I have no idea wat did i crap about
so i'll juz go to bed, its late
and i'm gona sleep til afternoon <3 p="">
♥ u baby
#X

加油！

Finally, business and econs assignment done!

it was one hell of a week last week, and it doesn't stop here

i still have SP due on fri

good thing there's a week of hols after tis week

but i dun think its gona be a relaxing hol 

since we still have business, econs and SP group assignment which have not started at all

not to mention research -.- 

oh wells

wish i could juz go somewer tis hol

even if its juz genting for the weather

but we'll see, juz have to get through tis week 1st 

想你的夜 ♥
♥ u bii
#X

Old frends?

感情久了，自然会进入一个阶段
而这个阶段就是
我已经习惯你的一切，你也已经习惯关我的一切
不管是友情，爱情都一样
一开始，彼此都很小心的经营“我们”的一切
深怕会不小心伤害到谁，或者弄到谁不开心

久了
就感觉上，不再那么小心
因为我们都认为，你都懂我的啦～
久了
一段时间见一次，可以很舒服的喝茶聊天到三更半夜
讲讲自己的情况，也搬起久笑话，在大声的笑彼此
久了
你不需要说话，只需要一个眼神，一个动作
心里就明白发生啥事了

对我而言
有时，有些事的确不需要说出口
因为，
你知，我知最美。
你我都在不同的角落
有着新交的朋友
但始终忘不了前五年的时光
我不会阻止你与谁深交，你也不会阻止我
毕竟，这是各自的人生
我们从好伙伴，变成了老朋友
曾经称为家的地方，变成了hometown
一年里，太多的变化了

老朋友
读到这里你应该还不懂我到底要讲啥吧
因为本小姐最喜欢转圈圈 <3 p="">x)
对我来讲
生日当然是重要的日子
但现今的我们，却不能一起庆祝
不像往年，几个礼拜前就在想今年要搞啥pattern
但我已经知道会有人和你庆祝
所以身为老朋友的我
就在远处祝福你
不是我不要跟你讲生日快乐
而是我知道你知道了
这四个字，谁都可以跟你讲
但背后的诚意，只有他知道
至于礼物咧，我他妈的就早知道全世界肯定送你啥
所以在没有 idea 的状况下，决定不送！=D
×借口：懒了啦 xD
哎呀，反正都这么多礼物了
少了我的也没差啦～

话讲酱多
还是再同样的一句话
我知，你知最美

i miss my amigos
and i miss my boii too
♥  u guys
♥  u bii

;)

I'm not giving up on u
so don't give up on me kay?
i noe u still have ur doubts and worries
but hey
i'm here, always here
and i'll always be with u, together every step of the way =)..

♥ u baby

#X

Turning point

爱上你
是个愚蠢的决定
但是并不后悔

老天，lei hou ye!
需不需要转这么大圈来跟我讲一件事？
太过分了吧
用了那么多年，那么多感情
太过分了，真的太过分了
我只有三个字想给你
他妈的！

对不起
让你们担心了
也害到阿福那么迟睡觉 (说好了噢，扯平了)
你们一直跟我讲，我大了应该知道要怎么做
我心里一直痛苦的喊，谁说我长大了！我根本就没有！一直都没有！
这条路，是自己选的
走了就得对自己的决定负责任
虽然痛苦，但至少我知道肯定熬得过
他们都说射手是多么的潇洒
可他们却没说，洒脱的背后是多么的痛苦，多么的难堪




I have nothing else to say
nothing else to do
i only noe tat i tried and i was happy
remember not to stay up too late, u nid sleep
remember to drive safe, dun keep texting while driving
remember not to take too much spicy stuff, later stomach kenot tahan
believe in wat u love, believe in urself
i risked everything becuz i believed in myself and i believed u
maybe it wasnt the wisest choice but it was wat i wanted
ming was juz an excuse, everything was juz excuses
the main prob was..
the easiest way was to get out, to escape, yes i agree
i promised myself i would do anything it takes but i respect u
its already very hard, i never felt tis heart broken before
tears still flow whenever i think abt u
but wats done is done
just take care and dun worry abt me, i'll be fine
thank you and i love u
always will.

♥ u bii

#X

Jy Xian!

So many differences, so little things in common?

but i juz realized one thing in common..

its a bitter sweet moment 

i guess no matter wat we choose to do

someone always get hurt

intentionally or unintentionally..

it doesn't matter whether our initial intentions were for the better good

i guess tis is life

there are no perfect ways when it comes to people

and the only thing tat determines whether any relationship still stick

whether its frendship or anything 

its how much u care, how much u love the person..

4 years ago

i remember tat huge fight between me and u

it ended bad, very ugly

it took us months to finally talk to each other 

and now, u're really family to me 

but we lost one of our own last year

it wasn't easy

we were the inseperable trio for years

yet we seperated

well at least we're happy now

as for him

all i can say is i'm sorry

(and tis is wat we have in common)

i never meant to hurt u, but i juz needed time to straighten things out

i wanted a win win decision,and yea tat didn't work out

i finally noe how u feel now

the fear of losing something u thought u had a firm grip on

the fear of losing something u care alot 

the fear of losing something u love..

its terribly terrifying.. 

i'm sorry i didn't noe tat, and i put u through all this

and now all i can do is to wish u all the best and thank you

No one can be with you forever

tat's something i have to learn now

one day our families would leave us

our frends would have their own lives

people come and go

they leave foot steps, memories, lessons..

so i guess wat we can do is to appreciate and cherish whoever is with us now

one more thing

never give up o anyone who means something to u

yen, u were once part of our family and i tried, really tried

as for ling, thanks for not giving up on me

thanks for believing that we could go back to wer we started

and now for me

i'm not giving up on u cuz we came a very long way

it was hard for both of us

many tears shed, many sleepless nights

how i wish i could hold u all night long

feel u here with me and ur heart beat 

if u ever wonder why

its becuz its soothing, like the sound of the ocean

i dunno why but i juz like it =/

my mom used to say tat babies like to lie on anyone's chest when they're crying 

becuz they can hear and feel the person's hear beat

and den they'll stop crying..

I'm not perfect

in fact i have many flaws 

i'm lazy, i'm untidy, i'm loud, i'm noisy, i'm not all girly-girl

i'm not good with words, i don't noe wat to do or say to make u feel better

i'm better at texting rather den talking -.-

guess maybe i'm kinda a coward too

but wat i do noe is tat u mean alot to me

i miss u everyday, more den i ever knew i would

i never stopped thinking abt the necklaces i lost

i like to think lol -.- ALOT 

i can keep going on and on but i rather not

it feels like i'm insincere or complaining lol 

(but i'm not ofcuz ><)

and i juz like to keep somethings between us, not to the world

i have no idea wat the hell am i blabbering abt

so i'll juz stop here..

♥ u bii

#X

无语

对不起，请原谅我的粗心..

对不起，请原谅我的大意..

原本答应说不会弄丢，

最后还是不见了。

为了它，流泪了好几次

也许真的没缘分

算了，

只能说自己倒霉

当然最重要的还是你还在

东西虽然失去了，

但是你还在，

你！

我一定不会在失去了。

失去的话我就是猪！

世界上最蠢的猪！

♥ u bii

#X

妈得飞了
下礼拜到那两只呱下新山
大家果然散了
该面对现实了
总不能渴望一直在一起
每个人有该走的路
所以就走吧！
偶尔聚在一起，回忆往事也是一件幸福。


等待，
对我而言不是一件陌生的事
但每个人都有自己的极限
每个人都会累
所以有时还是得宠一宠自己，休息休息
再继续奋斗。
请不要把我当成没脾气的人
因为你错了。


我，
会一直挂念你们的...

♥ u
#X

*sweep sweep*

Okay, getting dusty here!
time to sweep, time for an update.
might be a lengthy one today.

So 1st of all is REDANG =D
can i just say its a beautiful place..
the sand, the fine fine sand and the sea.. just wat i wanted and missed
too bad there weren't many stars and we didn't get to see the sun rise
but it was nice =)..
went with bii and frends, nice people !

Lets see wat else?
lemme juz skip the boring stuff
obviously uni started and its going to be hell of a sem
so yeah lets not go there..


So i also received 2 major news:
1. Cinday aka Mother is flying to Sumantra on the 20th
2. Turtle is not coming up to kl, but going down to JB instead

Yea, mother leaving is quite a big deal
hardly get to see her already tis year
but hey, i noe we'll be okay
someone once told me tat
distance makes the heart fonder x)..
everyone has their own paths and u're off on urs
we'll miss u
i will miss u
but ofcuz we're happy for u and we wish u the best!


I really wanna share something that i found out earlier today
i found out abt tis guy name Matthew Zachary Liu and his writings are truly inspiring
well, at least to me.
his writing is really long but i juz wanna share
u can juz skip the whole part if u wan to =)

Friends drift apart all the time. Groups of friends we might have known from childhood, secondary school, poly or university will dwindle over time for varied reasons. You could be the"best of friends", sharing personal secrets and hanging out almost everyday but become awkward strangers the next season..

Friendship is really just one of those indefinable words that mean different things to different people at different times. Most friendships are transient, they come and go with time, place and circumstances. Acquaintances may turn into friends, friends may turn into strangers.

Its sad but some friendships are just not meant to last. People change, priorities defer, situations occur.. we change. I personally don't believe in the whole calling each other "best friends forever"..

Imagine if you go around declaring that a certain person is your "bff" but after a petty quarrel, you never speak to each other ever again (almost true story). That'll certainly be a joke, wouldn't it? 

I've learned that true friendship doesn't need to be labeled or broadcasted with such terms, its simply a special relationship between you and whoever.

Anyway, I was just thinking about a certain something regarding friendship.. more often then not, friends fall out because of a misunderstanding. But I guess sometimes, when deep down we feel that it'd be such a waste to let a particular friendship be destroyed like that, we should just put our pride and ego aside and take the initiative in saying "hey, we need to talk"..

Have a heart to heart talk and thrash things out face to face, not talk behind each other's back creating a series of negative repercussions and animosity. Because its all these bitching over a certain misunderstanding that destroys friendships and relationships, not just our own but the people around us as well.

Even if resolving the friendship is beyond hope, we shouldn’t ever go so low as to kiss-and-tell. Certain friendships may not always have a happy continuation, but their past values should never be negated. 

Incidents will sometimes happen, but the secrets and memories shared should always remain special. Sacred. Its stupid to deny or tarnish the value of those memories.

Its also extremely degrading when one starts dishing out all the dirt in a fit of emotional fury or for revenge. Personally, I really don't think we should ever disrespect another in the eyes of others just because they longer fit into our life.

The thing is, we are actually a sum total of all our relationships, past and present, mixed together with our own peculiar personality. Every single person we've met along the way, no matter how long we've known them or how much we've shared during those times, have definitely made us who we are today in little ways we might not even have realized ourselves.

All these people are there for a reason. They give meaning and often leave an impact at various stages of our lives. And its all these special moments that are to be treasured because although friendships may not always last forever, its these memories that do..

Another thing is,
we have been seeing weiwei pang suffering for so many months
it somehow hurts too, seeing her like tat
den the moment she told me she dun trust him anymore
i was like wth? how are u guys going to go on like tat?
and i thought to myself
i really cant imagine being in her situation
and i would never EVER wanna be in her situation
and i would never ever get myself into her situation..


I dun really have anything else to write lol
so i'll juz share another one of Matthew's writing which i personally can relate to..

She stared at her phone – he was last seen just five minutes ago but why.. why hasn’t he messaged at all? They’ve been messaging back and forth every single day for the past month; the length and depth of each message increasing with each new message and then.. and then today, the messages just stopped. 

Surely he didn’t lose his phone – he was last seen just five minutes ago. 

“Oh my god, have I stooped to such an obsessive stalking level?” she sighed. Perhaps. She knew she was falling and was sinking even deeper..

The truth that she hated to admit is that she had fallen deeper for him over their conversations. Over the dreams she had of him. Over the good morning and good night messages. They made her smile. His smile.. made her heart flutter. Every single time. She wish she could simply tell him all that.. but..

Why isn’t he messaging me? Did I say or do something wrong? Has he lost interest in me? Maybe he never was interested to begin with. What if I messaged him first? No, that’ll make me seem desperate. I don’t want to annoy him. Maybe he’s busy. Yea, he’s definitely busy. Or maybe.. 

She sighed again. It was almost midnight. She had been thinking about him the whole day. Waiting for his message. It never came.

“I miss you” – she began typing a new message to him.

‘I can’t send this. No way. He’d think I’m clingy. But I do miss him. Too much. And I hate feeling this way – the not knowing,’ she thought to herself.

The thing about love is.. there are different ‘stages’ before we fall. She.. was at stage 3.

She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and against her own sanity.. she hit the send button.

In a matter of seconds, she saw that he was “online”.

Surely he’s reading the message now.. but then, just as abruptly, he was back to “last seen”. No reply.

She clutched her phone close to her heart, waiting, hoping for his reply as she drifted off to sleep in tears.

There are five stages before we fall.. she is now in stage 4.

-

Lately, I’ve been trying to complete a certain other love story that I titled “Five before we fall”.. it was meant to be a personal narrative exploring five different stages we often go through leading to the point where ‘love’ becomes more than just a word..

But I’ve abandoned the story.

Because my current reflection of reality has changed; and reality is painful to write.

You know, stories of potential romance are not so simple or straightforward. Most boy meets girl stories don’t and won’t end in happily ever in love. 

“Five before we fall” was meant to be this “other” love story. What could’ve been. What may never be.

It was meant to explore the feelings, the thoughts, the stages and the games we’re all guilty of playing from the minute we find ourselves attracted to a person and as we go through the stages of falling.. 

For guys, it’s about the chase.
For girls, it’s playing hard to get.

We play these games because we’re unsure. Of feelings. Of thoughts. Second thoughts. Third. Fourth. The whole night. Every fucking night. We long to receive and read messages from a certain someone. We want to hear their voice, see their smiles, know how their day went and everything about him/her..

Eventually, we might reach the point where we know what or how we feel about the other person.. but we don’t know how they think and feel about us. So we play the games we do.. cautiously testing the frozen ice. To be sure it’s safe. To be sure we won’t plunge ourselves through the cracked ice just because we were a bit too quick, a bit too eager to take that next step when.. well, when the ice wasn’t ready.

But playing the game is tiring. It’s confusing. It’s uncertain. Frustrating. It consumes your energy, thoughts and nights. You can’t stop thinking about this one person throughout the day, and especially during the moments just before you go to sleep; then again when you wake up in the morning – worse, you actually start visualizing a future together with this person who you have absolutely no idea what or how they feel about you. 

So we play our cards cautiously and patiently even though it’s absolutely killing us. Because try too hard and she might see you as desperate and get turned off. Play too hard to get.. he might give up trying and move on.

And to add to the complication, there are even times the mixed signals get perceived wrongly.

A girl might think that a guy is into her.. but he isn’t. Or not yet. A guy might think the girl is not into him.. but she already is. And it scares her.

And it’s exactly why we play the games that we do. Because we’re trying to figure one another out hopefully without getting ourselves hurt. Because the one who admits falling first might end up hurting the most.

You see, there are no rules to this game that we play, but i'd like to believe there are different stages.. 

The five stages that I was going to revolve my narrative around were of:

Attraction. Interaction. Affection. Confession. Decision. 

In this process of falling, the moment has to be perfect. Two people who are attracted to each other and find chemistry through interaction, have to both come to the point of mutual affection at the same time before the moment of confession and decision.. because here’s the brutal truth, whoever confesses first (and when the other person isn’t ready).. loses. 

You developing feelings and confessing too soon might scare him/her off. He/she might back off because maybe they feel you’re getting too serious too soon while they’re still at the “figuring out” stage. 

So we play the games we play. Threading carefully on thin ice. Waiting for the opportune moment. That moment when both of you just know there’s no need to play any more games because both of you are already pretty sure of what you feel for each other even if it’s not said yet.. then comes confession and if the moment is right and you two make a mutual favorable decision to take a chance and make an effort in love.. you win. You both win. 

This unspoken game we play.. there are no rules. 

Well, okay maybe just one.. we have the freedom to love anyone we want; what we don’t have.. is the right to control the way they feel just because we feel a certain way towards them.

Just because we love, loved or still love someone.. doesn't meant we can expect or demand the one we have feelings for to feel the same way for us.

Feelings take time to grow in or out of. That’s the most painful or potentially beautiful part.

It’s the reason why I titled this attempted narrative “Five before we fall” – the five stages before we either fall in love or fall out of love. 

I’ve abandoned the story. I'll not be continuing it anymore. 

But to you reading this, if you haven’t already met your special one.. here’s to our one day, one person, and many beautiful moments together with this other.

By: Matthew Zachary Liu

I was really looking forward to this one 
but he decided not to continue it
wish he could continue, really wanted to noe more haha
its late! 
time for bed~


♥ u bii
#X

Minions =D!

The title says it all !
hehe tis pic is my desktop pic right now
they are just sooooo cute !!
and ofcuz funny xD

Finally went to watch the movie with dar
BEE DO BEE DO x)

EVIL MINION RAWRR!
today they releasing 2 more from McD
so gaolat la
everyone started to queue for it since 1045 @_@
i think everyone is going crazy over 'em
oh wells ~

♥ u dar
#X

依然还是..

李大仁，依然还是李大仁。
还是那么的感人 =)

♥ u babe
#X

李大仁

其实每个人的心中都希望会有属于自己的李大仁，
我，看着李大仁
一直一直的爱着称又青
一直一直的成全他，保护她
自己也渴望拥有一位李大仁。
可我没发现，其实属于自己的李大仁其实就在身边。
他不一定只是一个人

我一直拥有着一位
嘴巴总是说我的不是的老哥
无数次把我气得想掐死人的老哥
但在背后默默的看着我，担心我
担心我被谁伤害

现在得我，又拥有了你
的确是‘又’拥有了你
你对我的照顾，
你对我的思念，
你对我的爱护，
我一直都感受到。
好幸运拥有了支持我的家人，
又拥有了更棒的第二个家庭，
现在又有你。
感动的瞬间，难以形容
只让我更珍惜，更爱你。
也更挂念你，多希望你在我身边
也让自己觉得，身为你身边的女人要多多努力做得更好
果然经过无数努力和心思得到的东西比轻易得来的东西宝贵

你，和老哥
就是属于我的李大仁
我，很幸福，很幸运
所以不管以后发生什么事情，
我相信我们一定能一起走过
因为，
我已经找到
我的李大仁..

Long lost and found..

Getting really dusty here!
gotta start sweeping x).

So finals are over and i've been on holiday for
hmm i lost count nvm tat
and i've been wasting time at home xD.
and ofcuz i started my 2nd PIY

I think i can say its half done?
tis one is much harder becuz everything is so tiniee!
unlike the last one i did, each part was bigger

Tis one took me i dunno maybe a few months cuz i didn't really paint it everyday
i love the candle stands! dunno why but its my fav
gonna hang it at our dining area =) add some colour to the area!

Sorwiee i almost cried when i saw tis =/
its juz that i haven't seen it for so many years..
i noe u kept saying tat its okay
but i juz cant believe i lost mine..
or maybe it was meant to be lost?
like the time i lost u..
and now its back!
i'm no good with words but it felt like..
the missing piece of the puzzle finally found...

4 years is a very long time
lots of things happened
it wasn't easy but i'm glad everything turned out okay
i knew exactly wat i wanted and all the things that come along
and i knew it wouldn't be easy
everything needed time and effort
the most scary thing was distance
it tore us apart once but it's not as far as it used to already!
we'll figure it out, i'm sure we will
and i'm not going to give up so easily anymore, i promise =)

Sry i didn't spend ur bday with u =x..
i really wanted to but my surprise plan didn't really go as planned..
but at least the tarts turn out nice :)

It was my 1st time making tarts
tats why it took me awhile haha
i didn't noe u expected a PIY =/
i kinda feel bad when i saw ur msg..like u were quite disappointed or something
but hey i'm glad u liked it hehe
ohh and don't say that u're not trying hard enough or something like tat
i noe it'll be a lil bumpy but hey we'll get the hang of it =)
i'm lucky to have u, words can't explain wat i'm feeling

♥ u superman x)
imy
#X

OHH! And happi birthday to Cindy! 
My "mother" that has always been there for me
♥ u too x)

音乐，已经属于我生命中的一部分
音乐，陪了我走进梦境
音乐，陪了我读书
音乐，让我想东西想得更清楚
音乐，也只有音乐让我在难以哭泣的时候
不到5秒，眼泪就流下了。

事情，摆在眼前
其实我也看清了，我真的看清了
现在我有两个选择
一，我再等，再等多一下下
二，彻底的放下

熟悉的感觉回来了
可是我却觉得非常不安
果然我还真的很会伪装，口是心非
虽然你发现了我的古怪，但始终你还是相信了我的谎言
留着我不难，只要你开口我就是你的
偏偏你只跟我说imy
到底是要我留还是不要？
我人坏在我很固执，我看到了我知道了
但是我偏偏就是要你说出口，不然我不相信
虽然我已经知道了，我真的知道。

累了，不知道自己还能不能撑着
幸好现在放假，不然这个时候不睡
明天8点的课我比 zombie 还恐怖了
迟了，该睡了
晚安。


6 years ago tat nov.
i remember repeating tis song over and over again
i locked myself in my room
and i dunno when my tears came rolling down..
and tat, was the 1st time i cried because of u
yea.. nights b
its really time for bed.. imu2

My most precious possessions.. 

♫回忆过去～

当然接下去不是痛苦的相思啦，反而是快乐的相思（乱乱用）

以上的东西可以说是我最宝贵的东西

每一样东西，都有着自己的故事

当然有喜也有哀

里面每一个物品都曾经让我成长过

一堆粉红色的祝福卡，带我回到了小学

#成长第一步

一堆放在信封的信，生日卡，带我回到了初中

#接着慢慢成长

St John Camp的纪念品，带我回到了去年

#成长也不少

其实房间里都装着很多的回忆

桌子就有大合照，跟 'Friends Forever'的东东

再下一隔，从 langkawi 买回来的礼物

原本应该送出去的，却回到了我的身边

再再下一隔，一本装满了照片的 album

再来抽屉里就撞了一些上面的东西

椅子上躺着的抱枕

坐在床上的两只熊

梳妆台收着的拼图

还有很多很多

其实从我身边的东西已经可以感受到我所得到的爱

我是很念旧的人

一首歌，真的可以从六年级听到现在都不觉得腻

反而觉得好有感觉，好怀念

今天虽然只是短短的那一两个小时

我们也不是单独两个人

但至少我感受到你对我的好，对我的照顾

我有些小感动

但可惜的是，我凭什么让你对我好？

考试快完了，时间也快到了

我，到底该怎么办...

Ok! 2 papers down and 2 more to go

2molo or to be exact today later 1 more and 2molo 1 more 

and den i'm free to go x)

not very sure wat am i going to do with my 5 weeks break yet 

but one thing for sure is DRIVING! 

i've delayed enough its time for me to learn to drive 

other den that i'm not sure yet 

anyways its late and i better go piggie already 

♥ u babe

#X

发现到晚上要睡觉的时候，
特别有感触..
怎么说就是看到一张张吊着的照片
就想起了姐妹
想起多么欢乐+悲伤的时光
也不能否认这个时候又是我'想多多'的时候~

你，已经成为我生命中的一部分了
虽然会两天没联络
但至少我有信心你，也会想起我
不是我不想在主动
而是想让自己想开一点
不要老是粘着你
暧昧，果然好委屈
再次听回暧昧这首歌的时候觉得
诶，我终于明白他在唱什么了
直到等待失去意义..
希望真的不会有这一天
因为我相信那天会是我最down最hurt的一天

Assignments are all done and over
wats left is finals
crappy thing is jap class is off
literally got kicked out cuz it's full wth?
and they expect us to take both business and econs
damn right! how the hell are we going to manage 2 heavy subs?
others get to ace their language and we have to work our butts off for these 2?
damn shitty yo!
us, we yea almost all my classmates who register for jap kena
we're trying to make some noise and see if there's anything that can be done..

Screw everything I haven even start studying..
shud get my head straight and start revision if I wana get the 20k scholarship
speaking of scholarship there's even more crappy things
dun even wanna mention it if not my post would all be negative stuff when it is already negative enough..
oh wells, time for bed
nights world

♥ u babe
#X

Finals are coming soon
most of our assignments are due next monday
one more week
i can do tis

We finished our video shoot today
officially call it a wrap
left the editing now
i can do tis, i noe i can

Miss u guys
really miss u guys
this few days has been really tough
already lots of tears were shed
but at least i noe u're always there
thanks and i love u all

♥ u babe
#X

I wont deny that i already miss you
but i have no choice but to restrain myself
i always knew that
there would be a time when this will come
i never wanted it to come
i always wanted to just avoid it
because it's just so painful..
apart of that
i don't have that much courage..
i really dunno wer am i going to find the courage when the time comes
i guess i just have to
cuz its not benefiting both of us
it's been so sweet and cozy
it's been all i've wanted
but i can't have it like tis
its too invisible, too unrealistic, too insecure..
sorry for being selfish but i want you
but really not like tis...

♥ u babe
#X

原来这些年来
我已经无形中的依靠着你了
本来以为自己就是
这样无依无靠，坚强地站着
可我没发现到，我其实已经倾向你了...


我，
真的寂寞吗？
寂寞这两个字有点陌生
我这些年来是真的寂寞吗？
而我这些年来紧紧的抓着
是因为自己寂寞，想再次填补空洞吗？
我怎么没发现到...


突然觉得如果当初没遇见你
有多么的好
现在的我，也许不会在这里罗里罗嗦了
遇见你，是好是坏真的很难评分
因为你而失去了自己
因为你而搞乱了自己的思维
因为你而看不清自己
值得吗？


多希望有人能帮帮我
帮我指对方向，多么好啊
多希望自己能消失一段时间
寻找回自己，再向前冲...
现在只能说
娴
加油吧..

Haven updated in awhile..
didn't have the drive or the mood to
and now i'm here..

This blog, is full of all my emotions and thoughts
which not everyone or maybe no one noes about
i write when i'm down
i write when i'm confused
i write when i'm lost..
in hope that maybe u will noe wat i am going through

Who's the u?
who ever i'm referring to..
never liked to write out who am i talking about
because deep down, u noe and i myself noe who u are..




College has been quite busy with lots of video projects
and the super duper lazy me is kinda struggling
wer's the drive, the motivation
i think i lost that since a long time ago..
i didn't really have the motivation to study for SPM
and see wat i got..
tis is only my foundation year, wat's gona happen during my degree?
so scary juz to think of it..



So close, yet so far..
i do not noe whether we're close, or we're far apart..
sometimes i feel so close to u and yet sometimes so far..
i never understood u
never knew wat u liked, wat u dislike
all i knew was wat i felt..

Now, i feel like i'm clinging on to something so..
something that i really can't see
i don't noe wer it will take me
i feel so insecure...


无缘无故，没理由的流了眼泪
是不是最近太压力
还是又想起你我之间有多么的模糊
我不是像表面那么坚强
你不知道我内心有多么的脆弱
因为一句话，一个字
就能让本小姐流泪
饶了我吧
若要抓着我就请你抓紧
若没意思抓着我就请你松手，
好让我我慢慢地飘走
慢慢的疗伤，再慢慢的寻找下一个幸福...

This few videos have been on FB
i still dunno they arrangement but the one i like the most is the 1st one
98 degrees, so true


Monday's presentation was over
1 down! lets see hmm
4 more to go?
i dunno lost count
thought i was dead on sun
i missed the msian studies course thingy
we weren't prepared for the presentation
well i'm lucky tat everything went quite smoothly
although i can't expect much from our performance


Anyways my turtle aka ling came up to kl last week
met up on fri, how weird bringing my turtle to moral class HAHA
too bad it wasn't any mass com classes
and it sux cuz we only get to eat something and went back home
didn't shop !
there goes my hunt for shorts
good thing i found 4 with my mom on sat
i miss mother la, aka cindy
its been awhile since we had a nice chat
and i wanna spam pics with her note 2 la!


新家，很远
今天看到你那么累
都觉得有点小担心
想象不了每天用一个半小时去学校在回家
想帮忙，却有心无力
只希望一切都平安就好
♥ u babe
#X

Turtle and I

OWL ♥

Andrea, turtle and I

♥

觉得自己真的快疯了
本来打算好好的做research
结果给一个他妈的的人打扰
害我不能专心

你把我当预备轮胎
简直就是贬低的我
他妈的我几时落到会变成别人的预备轮胎？
我詹丽娴可不是什么物品
任你丢一旁，想到我的时候才拾起来！
他妈的
他妈的
他妈的！

5个assignment
没有一个是做到一半了的
怎么办？
现在人又在新加坡
明天也没时间做了
拜一又有很多东西要交了
死了，死了
哭也没用
谁叫自己那么懒，一拖再拖

我..
真的真的觉得很hurt
尽然真的会变成一个人的预备轮胎
选择了另一个女子，发现他有男友了就回来找我
到底把我当什么？
多亏我还把你当朋友，呸！
真的是侮辱了我
有的人可能会觉得我over reacted
说我很敏感
不爽就siam
没必要看我的烂post
你不了解我，就别judge我
因为这里是本小姐的地盘

你叫我不要后悔我的选择
鬼才会后悔
你不会珍惜我，我才不稀罕
你要我喜欢上你这种人
除非我瞎了眼，或不再叫詹丽娴

可惜现在很迟了
姐妹们睡了
谁会像我每次都做夜猫
白天就做熊猫～
幸好有你
陪着我
至少跟你聊天
我心会比较安定

嗯
该睡了
share一张自己拍的照片
是用新的DSLR拍的

等待，已成了习惯
虽痛苦，但几乎每次都值得
本小姐本来就不是和很有耐心的人
但对你却例外了
Wi-Fi随时开着
为了听到那铃声
知道自己没data
所以一旦找到Wi-Fi就习惯性的找你

可我在想
有哪几次是你主动来找我的？
虽然你没有表现到我很烦
但自己都会犹豫是否该再次主动
人说主动久了会累
累了就放弃..
我，会落到这个地步吗？

无底洞
不知自己会不会就这样败给你了
无底洞
请不要把我也独吞了
就请你把我的灵魂留着
好让我能够再次寻找回我自己..

Holidays
one stupid week
and now i'm blasting my speakers
aint a good sign blasting my speakers


Kept wanting to go to the beach
i miss the ocean
i miss the wind
i miss the stars
and right now i really nid some air


Never liked spending my holidays in KL
bored like hell
all i can do is watch dramas
stare at fb


乱了
又乱了
本来已经决定顺其自然
让时间搞定一切
但想着想着
一直这样的等待，这样的拖着
真的是件好事吗？
真的是我要的吗？

无底洞啊无底洞
饶了我吧无底洞
本小姐快撑不住了啊
尤其现在整天呆在家更撑不下去了啊
放过我吧 ='(

Midterms is kinda killing me already
especially intro to mass com
so many stuff to study and remember
i dun even noe whether i can remember anything anot
anyways wish me luck ><


Blew today's chance
oh well
didn't mean to =/
2molo no time somemore =O
aiya nvm la
next time =x
anyways decided to go sg tis fri
becuz i get to go JPO lol
and mk's gona bring me go walk walk
and we'll be heading back after breakfast on sat
so yea there's still time to meet up
and ofcuz supper <3 br="" nbsp="">
Short post
sleep now, wanna go to bed
nights b



♥ u babe
#X

不要怀疑，我是为了你而犹豫的...
若你说留下，我就留
若你说去，我就去
因为，本小姐已经被你牵去了...


English was a lil hard
hope i did okay
next up is IMW online quiz 
intro to mass com and media appreciation test
lots to absorb and to remember 
gotta jiayou! 
not much time left
anyways juz a short post 
nothing much to say
time for bed
sleep tight b 



♥ u babe
#X

Yea so i bet everyone is interested in tis right now
so i'll juz post a pic of it
not to show off or anything
its juz to share my results

Yeah its a good result
8As and 3B+
but it wasn't awesome to me
weird thing is i always get funny resutls during my major exams
i knew i could do better den tis
i got a band4 for MUET
weird is my 1119 got a B3 and A in spm
i guess i didn't do as well as my MUET
i was a lil disappointed at myself
but hey! i'm over it right now x)
tis ain't important anymore!
cuz wat matters is my foundation right now


So we had our "board meeting" on wed late night
so good to be with my besties again
felt so me again
laughed like a mad woman talked as loud as i wanted to
and our signature high 5s!
so we didn't sleep at all tat night
great catching up with em
lurve u guys so much


Too bad we didn't take pics
i dunno why we didn't take any pics
was still shaking with our results i guess
went for a karaoke session after tat
to be honest i was super pissed at u
dammit u were the one who said i made ppl look forward to thurs
not becuz of our results but our gathering
damn u for not showing up
damn u for saying tat u duno we're going
damn u for everything!
i really dun like ppl behaving tis way
promising u'll show up and cabut


Anyways mid terms start 2molo
english paper 1st
good luck to me!


♥  u babe
♥  y'all too  #X 

P.S cool my 200th post haha xD

两三天没有你的晚安
有点失落，不过也有值得开心的事
等你，好像已经变成了习惯
习惯电话一直开着wifi，等你等到得睡了才睡
是好事，是坏事？
一半一半吧哈哈，我不懂
只希望你安全回到家 =)

♥ u babe! nightsss

至于三个小时 away 的你们
拜四不见不散！
拜四不封不回家！
谁放飞机就中我99！
x)

也 ♥ y'all !

Weird i wanted to go to bed already
but i juz felt that i had to blog 1st before i sleep lol
i dun really have anything to write abt today
maybe i juz nid to throw my thoughts out here before i can sleep haha

I'm really looking forward to next thurs
to many it might be a nightmare
but to me is a dream
not becuz we are getting our results
but becuz we are having a chance to get together again
weird how i can hold on to something so long
i still can't let go of the life i had last year
its not that tis year isn't good
but maybe cuz i felt safer back den
safe in such a way that i noe they are always there

Weird how gals really nid to feel safe
do i feel safe?
haha i dun really noe at the moment
i guess i'll leave to destiny and time this time
its too tiring having to take everything in my own hands haha
anyways time for bed!
its late haha
nights d.

Honestly, sometimes when things happen
on the surface, it seems that i dun mind, i'm ok with stuff
but sometimes, i really take things personally..
i was not happy today
really not happy at all
deep down i noe why
question is did u realise?

Sometimes small lil details are often neglected
weird thing is i like looking at details
an action, or even a word
can make my day or ruin it
maybe i think too much
yea tat i admit,
but sometimes maybe its because i care
i care too much and i dun wanna lose it/u

Why don't i speak up u may ask
wat if i did, and it wasn't wat u were thinking?
wat if i did, and it wasn't even an issue?
wat if i did, and everything blew up?
wat if, wat if..
but wat if, it was wat u were thinking
and wat if, it was also on ur mind
weird how humans operate..

Getting stuck in the middle
aint a nice position to be in
it makes u think abt it so often and drives u mad
for one moment, u'll tell urself that yeah tis is wat i want
and the next, u might be thinking of giving up
i dun even noe wat am i crapping about
i guess i'm desperate to get an aswer
so that i noe wer am i standing..

♥ u

阿福

这个是要密码的！

给你的tips是...

去年在台湾！这个东东有两个z在里面

英文字来的哈哈

大的


知道你看到的机会不大
但是还是写在这里了
密码，并不难，我不用给tips应该知道吧
是华语字 =)