I love you

The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And the more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
And the more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I
I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again


This is a.. really old song
but it sums up wat i'm feeling right now
i grew up knowing that things don't come to you on a silver platter
u have to fight for it
i learnt a lot about this when it comes to friendship

I value my relationship with people a lot
especially those who had touched my heart and some what changed me
i guess, they did not really changed me, but they shaped me
the people that i encounter, made me who i am now
and i hate to admit but it all happened through drama
which started when i was only 12 (11 to be exact)
throughout the years, i learnt so many things
people come and go
but there are also people who choose to stay, who makes an effort to stay
and these people, are the ones i cherish and love the most

I'm a wounded person, not knowing whether the scars will ever recover
i faced so many "battles" and came out hurt and full of scars
to me, it was always worth it
these people in the picture right at the top of my blog
they are family to me, my 2nd family
inseparable
due to one reason, and one reason only:  They are worth fighting for.
fights after fights
drama and more drama after even more drama
but among the fights and drama
the bond and love between ourselves just grew stronger i guess
(well if you could handle the "love")
they stood by me when i was in the worst shape ever
they supported me, pull me/push me up when i was way down
they took me in as a sister

Sec school was where i had friends for life
and i know that i would never be alone ever again
(□ friend for life. check!)
then i came to the point where i would like to find love, for real
you were always there, in my life, in and out
i always felt a connection between you and me
i guess you're right, we're both just suay i guess
whether its the right person at the wrong time
or the wrong person at the right time
or even the wrong person at the wrong time
i think the answer lies in the future

At first, all i thought of is that:
"I've been waiting for so long, i wont let you slip away again"
but den reality struck, there was much more to that
who knew that a simple relationship can cause so much chaos
den all the doubt began to crawl in
thoughts of whether this is just a mistake, that it was not meant to be
thoughts of if things ended, would it be for the better good?
well that didn't go well
it was too hard to take the easy way out
the pain of losing you is just, unbearable
i wasn't going down without a fight, because i fight, fight for what i want
i fight for you, because i'm in love with you, and all i want is you
i started thinking, am i just lucky or unlucky
even if i'm slightly mad at you i just can't be mad
you put me before you, that's something i've been..you can say craving for
all those years, i put my friends before me
i fight, i think of ways of how to pull them back, how to bring my sister back
then you came.. or rather came back :)..
also!
i admit that you know and understand me more than i know you
its creepy but at the same time..touching
maybe i'm just weird, like you always say
but it's always so sweet and nice when you say
"Of course I know! You're my piggie"

 Bii, i had lots of doubts about us
but right now, i see things slightly more clearly
and even if we don't work out
i don't know whether i could accept someone else's love
because i don't know whether he would love me the way you did
and i don't know whether i would ever let you go
you are already a part of me, in my heart and mind
it seems a bit stupid to say all these stuff when you're only 18
but this is how i truly feel..
i never thought that i will have such a big impact on someone's life
i always thought of myself as a liability or a pain in the ass
cause that is kinda who i am
and i promise you that i will not ever doubt you again
and that i wont stop fighting not until you give up
or its pushing you to the edge
cause i can't be too selfish and let you take on everything
if its too much, too unbearable
then, only then i'll back out, i wouldn't let you drown

I'll always be your piggie
and you'll always be in my heart
no matter what the future holds :)
(but of course i still hope there'll always be "us" ;D)

I love you bii ♥
#X

2014

1.25am 5/1/14

Hmm, its late and i'm sick -.- lol
not very though, but still.. sick
but i just can't sleep
guess i have too much on my mind

Happy 2014!
spent my last few days of 2013 with these peeps

My besties and friends i met in Taiwan last year.
it was something like a reunion trip
which we agreed that we will make it possible every year
even though not everyone made it
but hey, it was memorable
as memorable as Taiwan

This trip wasn't as easy as it looked
although Penang is not as far as Taiwan
much planning had to be made because
mainly we come from different places
north and south
good thing i was "allowed" to drive from KL
and so almost everyone gathered here and we were off for an adventure
i was pretty nervous
being a newbie driver
the highways were not a problem
the bigger problem was on the island itself
freaking narrow 2 way streets
constantly honking motorbikes
scared the hell out of me -.-
and i was driving a MPV
but it was a really nice experience

1. Driving with one hand and another holding a GPS, and still missing turns going the wrong way
2. Scolding the motorbikes that kept honking and squeezing through me
3. Scolding the other car for following too far away and too close
4. Screaming at myself, because i had a hard time side parking the car, and when i was almost done, the car     behind went off, TWICE
5. Dancing and being a fool while crossing through the ropes of Escape Park
6. Cycling through the streets of Georgetown in red like we owned the streets whilst finding street arts
7. Going on a trip without baba bear :(

They say those who accompany you through the year 13 to 14
are the people who will be with you 1314 (forever)
i wasn't with my family, or my 2nd family, or my bii
but i was surrounded by people who i still love, friends.
another bunch of frends who i do not have to be "decent"
i scream and shout at them TMD!
i say stupid, annoying things and made them laugh
i kicked someone in the ass, almost tripping over the stairs
another bunch of people who i do not have to fake myself
i could be who i really am, comfortably be who i really am
its hard and frankly quite, odd
because we only knew each other last year, well spent 2 weeks together
but not seeing each other for a year
yet the instant we laid eyes on each other, its like we never separated
everything came back, the warmth and watever it was in Taiwan



The 5th day of a new year
doesn't really feel like a new year
maybe because we don't have to write down the date everyday in sch anymore
i have no idea wat's coming this year
i don't even noe wat course am i taking for degree yet lol
2 month break and i'm wasting it
oh wells let me just waste it until i noe wat to do

♥ u bii
#X